After 45 months, the girlfriend and I are no more. Official date is 7/20/10. It was one week after our 45 month anniversary. I've noticed a trend that all our major arguments occure within a week of our anniversary; it's very unsettling. I'm sure there are a few that feel this was a necessary move. She and I had a civil breakup, at least. We both agreed it was something that needed to happen. Due to whatever the circumstance, it was decided to be the next step. At first, I wasn't bothered by it. However, as the days went by, I was left alone with my thoughts and dwelled where things went wrong. I find I'm blaming myself for why things didn't work out. But I also realize I did all I could do and then some. It's my nature to hold everything to myself. I don't like to burden others with my own issues. The "friends" card is still an option. Is it actually possible? I can't say for sure. As nice as it would be, I'm not sure it's likely (at this time) but we are trying. Well....I am anyways. She seems better off, actually. I'm happy for her happiness. However, I do feel sad, jealous, or even angry that I can't make her smile like that anymore. Further I look back, I don't think I've ever made her as happy as she seems now. I could be wrong but that's what seems to be projected. Whoever said "The best revenge is to show them you're doing much better" hit the nail right on the head. I'm not saying it's a revenge motive but it surely is a swift kick in the nuts~
Work has been quite worrisome as of late. Yesterday, I began my first day of bootcamp training to help my AHT [average handle time]. It's a 4 week course designed to make me a more efficient CSR. With that comes a new schedule change. I was highly looking forward to actually having weekends off. The entire month of July required manadatory 6th Day. Last friday, I was looking forward to my first real weekend in a very long time. However, with my schedule change and the company's last minute decision to extend the 6th day for another month, my weekend was taken away from me. Even with plans already set in place, work is absolute and plans had to be changed~
After the break-up, I promised myself a little Brad-Time. I need some time to myself to reflect on everything. It was planned for when 6th Day was over. However, 6th Day had been extended which pushes my plans even further. With the combination of relationship and work, the vacation time seems more and more of a necessity. I haven't decided where. Ideally, it'd be out of state (CA, WA, HI maybe) but realistically, it would be a little more local. Away from Denver/CSprings of course. Been leaning towards a hot springs. It was something she and I wan'ted to do but won't happen now. Hot springs sound relaxing and cheaper that flying out. More likely, that's going to be the course of action~
Currently: would like to experience a massage. I feel like I could really use one right now~
