Breaking Point~

As time progresses, the limit draws closer. Or it could be possible that the limit becomes further distant. I, however, find myself struggling with what the limit is. Could it be that I'm drawing closer? After so long of trying to build a tolerance, it could be quite possible that I'm pulled closer to what I can bear. Perhaps things have been too good. It has left me comfortable; vulnerable. Without that "expectation," the walls come down. There's a sense of familiarity, trust, and normality. I believe that once things become a normal occurance and we start to become comfortable with it, any kind of change is unwelcomed. The well-oiled, fine-tuned machine becomes thrown out of whack with the proverbial "tossed-in wrench." It's this desire to become like clockwork that tries to hide in the shadows of imperfection. Unfortunately, any kind of light will cast a shadow. The light of hope comes without concequences for the shadows of the past follow the illuminated present and/or future~

It's never a treat to be called out for what things really are. I should know; it happens enough. Still, there are no excuses. After it all, the truth remains and it's all too undesirable or unwanted. I can't ignore the fact but it's there. Is that what it takes to reveal the obvious? What it comes down to is a road or conclusion I must follow. Have I reached that breaking point or limit or do I still have a long way to go to reach the destination before tollerance crumbles? It's hard to decide. The shadows grow larger making them that much of an issue. On the flipside, the eye-opener shows an ending result illuminated by the light of hope and hard work. The double-edge sword, I suppose. It's a matter of perspective~

...................................................

I had just recently set up reservations to visit Steamboat Springs with the lady. It was a trip that we've been wanting to do for so long. Memorial Day Weekend is the first time I'll have 2 days off in a row in a very long time. I set reservations for it and everything. Unfortunately, things have come up and we have to cancel the trip to the hot-springs. I must admit, I'm quite upset by this. However, it does save me money from the hotel reservations and gas (not to mention any other kind of miscellaneous spending that would happen). Who knows when another opportunity will present itself? I'm hoping soon. I recently received some needed help at work and there are talks of trying to alternate Saturdays off. I need something or I'll burn out much faster that I want to~

The job search continues, of course. I wouldn't want to be stuck at a loan person for the rest of my life. There's an opportunity that could potentially be beneficial to me. Once things open up, I'm totally jumping ship. Sure, it'll be a bit of a familiar setting but it's better than what I'm doing now. I hope things work out in my favor. I need something. I'm hungry for it. When the opportunity presents itself, I'll be sinking my teeth deep into it~

Currently: trying to contact Steamboat Hotel to cancel my reservation before going to work~