Replenish~

Times have been a bit easier lately, however, I'm still in this paradoxial situation. As much as I hate my current place of employment (probably more than my former...and that's saying a lot), I'm making quite an increase in terms of income. On average, I'd say 10-20 hours of overtime. Indeed, that sounds fantastic. Unfortunately, my apartment situation requests that I make less. If I make too much, I no longer qualify for this desired place of residence. Odd...you'd think that the more money you make, the easier it would be to pay rent (my case, it'd be $633). But with an income restriction of $25k, that might hinder things a bit. It seems like the place wants me to put all my money into rent. I need some spend for myself, you know. After consulting a new leasing manager at the new place, she believes that I do qualify (even with my overtime). I'm glad that she's done her math wrong because I want this place. If I don't get it, then I'm a bit screwed in terms of finding a home. It'd be damn near impossible to find a new place in 2 weeks. A month, I can do. Half that? Yeah....If I were Bill Gates~

Speaking of the move, I'm slacking in terms of preparation. I've packed two boxes so far and they consist of books and cds. My apartment still looks pretty cluttered. It just looks slightly cleaner. I have a lot of work ahead of me in a week. The expected move-in date is Feb 18 (next wednesday, folks~). It's time to drop it into overdrive and get to husslin'~

With the absense of an instructor, motivation for training has yet again slowed. With news of The Wave receiving his instruments of defense, I'm going to have to order myself a pair to get to partners training. The instruments I have for solo training would decimate his. Besides, I'm gonna have to tone up a bit. I need to look sexy (for myself and for the lady)~

The desire to play Rock Band has increased since BHG's outing at Best Buy. Playing on Hard is so much more different than Medium. So much more fun. That stupid little key keeps throwing me off but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. And thanks to Rock Band, the soundings of Paramore starts to grow on me. Not bad, not bad~

As for final words of this entry, to my comrades~
"The last dinner was amazing. That crab and ice cream was a dream. We will definitely have to have another outing come the reunion in 2 months~"

Currently: Waiting for my direct deposit tax returns~

The Return of the Gangstah~

It feels like an eternity since I've touched a computer for leisurely purposes. This is actually the first time I've been on xanga for....shit, I dunno. But what has happened since then~?

It will be approaching 2 months since I've started working at desperarte people's Goddess of Mercy (that being a loan place). I've been making many runs to banks, spending plenty of hours at work (almost 10 Hours a day) for roughly 6 days a week (so far, my only days off are sundays and holidays). As for the bad news: my mentor, Amber, was fired yesterday afternoon almost immediately after I returned from one of my many bank runs. Reason being is because she was unable to get our center to close on certain guidelines. This has me worried because now, I'm the only one left to run the center. So now, the only days off I'll ever get are Sundays (until the DM decides to hire someone new). I can either look at this two different ways: A) I'll hopefully become promoted to center manager or B) I need to look for a new job ASAP. I look forward to potentially becoming manager after only 2 months. However, I fear that if my manager was unable to get our numbers up, what hope do I, her trainee, have of accomplishing what she couldn't? Indeed, the days/nights have been stressful~

The weekends have been filled with movie rentals. I strongly recommend NOT renting "Internet Dating" starring Katt Williams and Master P. Screenplay is by Romeo. It really looks like someone had done the whole recording off a camcorder. Sound is terrible. Special effects...think Pop-Up Video. As for acting....I could shit better acting than that movie~

Christmas was a quiet one. I received Kingdom Hearts: RE: Chain of Memories. It's hard, I dunno how I feel about it. However, I've decided I'm going to finish it. The next game I wanna get is B-Boy. Jonathan had just purchased the Japanese Version of Dissidia. It's quite intense. I eagerly await the US release. New Years was quite an experience. Headed to Downtown to watch fireworks. Tried to have dinner but that was kind of a failure. Also, with nothing to eat that entire day, one cup of blue moon was enough to get me feeling a little dizzy. Shameful, indeed~

My persistence for a certain desired living quarter rises ever so greatly with each passing day. The desire is that much more stronger since I'll have to give my 30-days for my current residence soon. I hope that I'll get it in the near future though. I want to actually have a place where I'm not embarrassed to show. As I recall, I don't think any of my family members have seen my current residence. That's a damn shame~

"If it wasn't for text messages, I would've thought you've fallen off the face of the earth." -Jonathan

"Gee...Thanks...." -Me

Currently Reading: The Count of Monte Cristo~
Currently Desiring: time off from work~

Chameleon~

You know what I hate? I'm sure it was mentioned previously but I hate having to cover up something that doesn't need to be covered up. It's draining trying to act like things don't matter when they really do. It's even more draining to try and meet everyone's needs/expectations. It's almost impossible for me to be me without having to hear some kind of accusation or trying to clear up any misinterpretation. It's a wonder how things have been going because if I were any other normal person, I probably would've cracked a long time ago. I suppose it's that basic instict of mine to try and put others before myself. However, in the processs, I could potentially hurt others as well as put myself in a position to be barraged for unneccesary things. It is what it is and I am who I am. Deal with it~

I must say, I'm not much of a fan of my current position as a CSR. I still make the same amount of money as I did at ABC but I get full-time hours. However, I do 3-4 times the work. Also, I do a LOT of driving. Just yesterday, I've probably totaled about 20 miles just from running from bank to bank. Somehow, I get reimbursed for it but I still don't think it's worth it. I am especially not a fan of hearing so many peoples' sob stories and how they need help. This is really not the job for me. But, I'm in no position to complain because, for now, it's paying the bills~

The arrival of a comrade shall be the laughter that we all need. As the gathering'll happen at the end of next month, I hope that I'll be in a better position to let loose without worries of reprocussions. What this means is more down time for da boyz and quite possibly, a new place of lodgings. I'm not a fan of where I'm living now. It smells terrible, the nights have been late due to some whack-job who decides to play some shitty song on repeat at 2AM, and I might actually have space to do things like work on my drafting table or bust out my total gym. I need to look nicely for the reunion~

I thought I had more to say but I keep brain-farting. Meh, I can always come back and record my thoughts. That's what these things are here for, afterall~

Currently Watching: Planet B-Boy DVD~

Charade~

Someone once told me that being angry takes too much work. Oddly enough, I think the opposite. Due to being in a string of ill-tempered moods, I find it easier to be in a bad mood rather than trying to pretend everything's okay. Sure, there are times when I'm genuinely happy or in a pleasant mood. But there are those days when everything pisses you off. Everyone has them. Today, especially, happens to be one of them. Who would've thought that a normal salutation with a minor discrepancy would warrant suspicion of questionable interaction? I also was unaware that following suit in traffic ahead of me would make a person angry enough to take it out on me from the University Exit down towards Park Meadows-ish. When is it okay to poke fun at strong dislikes when an unpleasant outcome is almost obvious? I was also misinformed when the desire to depart from problematic episode meant returning to it and pursuing it further. Last I checked, "Just drop it" meant just that. I didn't know the definition changed to "Let's keep talking about it." Wanting to go to sleep to staying up longer totally deviates from my original intent. Seriously, it would be nice to up to date with all these changes. It would save me a lot of stress, headaches, and sore throats~

It's been a week since I started working. It's weird how a 9-hour shift here goes a lot faster than a 5-hour shift at ABC. So far, all I've been doing is busy work (dealing with training packets and organizing currency/checks in alphabetical, numerical, and date order). I won't complain...for now. It pays so no complaints there. As I stated previously, I would prefer something else but this'll do. Once word of a cruise-ship pops up, I'm off the raft~

It's been quite some time since I've actually had a real Thanksgiving. The last one I recall was either in 2002 when I visited family in Hawaii or MAYBE sometime when I was still living in Concordia. I don't remember. However, I'm supposed to attend an actual Thanksgiving tomorrow. It'll be with white people so the traditional Thanksgiving is almost guaranteed. I suppose it depends on my mood. Will I still be a grumpy guss? Will my mind change and will I decide to stay in the oh-so-enjoyable COSprings? When I go back to my Denver studio, will I even be in th mood anymore? Either way, it's a lot better than the standard chinese buffet or golden corral. Buffets are good and all for every special occasion, it gets old really fast~

I hate being trapped in a corner. Doing so enabled a former comrade acquire my phone number. Quite honestly, it was a person I would prefer to never have my number. Unfortunately, I was [more or less] forced to leak the information. This lead to me being the recipient of an unwanted text message from an unwanted number. The sauce is definitely in the weak category~

This is mostly for a rant. Unfortunately, I was interupted so my train of thought has plowed into a brick wall. "Thanks....very much"~

Currently Watching: Infernal Affairs Series~
Currently Reading: A Wild Sheep Chase -Haruki Murakami

Gamma Ray: Attack of the -Ay~

I find it incredibly strange that, after 3 long years of job-hunting, I manage to land a job after a week from turning in the application. It's incredibly frustrating that it happened that easily. At the same time, I'm relieved seeing how my final day at ABC was on 11-14-08. No, I wasn't able to back out w/ my middle fingers in the air while "YEAH!" played on a ghetto-blaster. However, the thought of doing it anyway while humming the tune DID cross my mind. The day consisted of absolutely nothing. Myself and my trusty sidekick patrolled the parameters as we talked about nothing. I had once again combined the CU Bear and 4 CU Buffaloes to create Teddy-VOLTRON. On my last day at the AHEC Book Center, I dressed in a way I never really thought I'd find an occassion to. However, the day was slow and boring. So...the stylish black tie with BSB Shirt went almost unrecognized. Still, I looked good, dammit, and that's all that matters. But I digress. As for the job, it'll be a CSR position at a teller place. It's starting me at my final pay at ABC. Not exactly ideal but it's better than less (or nothing). Although opportunity for advancement is supposedly high, if I hear back from DishNetwork/Echostar, I'm totally jumping ship and headed that direction. If I hear from the radio station job, I'll be doing that also. Hell...full benefits sounds very appetizing in my opinion. In the meantime, my first day is this Thursday. That should give me some time to purchase some business-casual attire~

Just recently (perhaps 2-3 weeks ago), I received word of individuals I haven't heard from in almost 3 years. I suppose it's not very strange when you look at it in that sense. But seeing how I was friends with these people around the same time, lost contact with them around the same time, they sought me out around the same time (within a day apart, maybe), AND the fact that they don't even know each other, it strikes me as very peculiar. It had me wondering if it was that time of the year to search Brad out like it were some kind of scavenger hunt. Needless to say, it did cause some complications between myself and my partner in crime, things were eventually smoothed over and (hopefully) things are at peace for the time being. Could you say it would be the return of the Arima Complex? Not necessarily. However, I do feel like things are finally getting better~

Although it might not seem like much, it might be the time that things for me start falling into place. Granted, they are small steps but they still cover distance. "One must learn to walk before he can run" and, I assure you, I intend to be huffin' it on the last stretch of this marathon~

My birthday follows Thanksgiving. I don't intend on doing very much shopping just because there really isn't anything that I want to buy. Well, maybe a dvd or something but I don't feel it necessary to wake up earlier than what's required of me. What I do look forward to is all the food that Thanksgiving has to offer. Either an actual dinner at Jordan's or buffet with the parents. It makes no difference to me. I enjoy food. It'll be tasty just the same. If all else fails, I could just get me a large order of ham and potatoes from Boston Market or King Soopers~

"Shoes ain't nothin' but hard socks~" -Me

Currently Watching: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya & Gundam Seed~

Trial & Error~

This has become a hectic week. As hopes of a brighter future are dashed, I'm left to contemplate the course of action I must take in order to survive the following months. Last minute news or Last minute preparation is never a good thing. It's foolish to believe that things fall into place so perfectly (at least in my case). That kind of thinking hasn't gotten me very far. What it has gotten me was a wonderful kick from reality: you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket~

I had an interview this past Tuesday. The job was a dispatch/routing position at Dish Network. I would settle in and work directly under a former ABC comrade. It started one day when she came to me and said, "You should work for me." to which I replied with a simple, "Okay." Apparently, she and the recruiter are pretty close. Last week, I received an application from her, filled it out and gave it to her the day after, and received a phonecall from her recruiter the following day. We set an appointment for Tuesday at 3pm. *Flash-Forward to Tuesday of this week* I feel the interview went amazingly well. I went all out. I even went as far as to have some recommendation letters prepared. There's a rule of thumb I was told that if the interview doesn't last any longer than 30 mins, then you're probably not going to get the job. My interview lasted a little over an hour. Following the interview was a tour of the building, the different departments, as well as policies, dress codes, etc. Immediately after the interview, I headed to a clinic to have a drug test. The sooner I peed into the cup, the sooner I can start work. About a half hour after I leave the clinic, I received a voicemail from the recruiter saying that after my interview with him, he had to speak with his upper management. They informed him that they put a stop to all hiring in the dispatch/routing department and was put in effect either before my interview or during. So I was unable to get the job. Total garbage if you ask me. I mean, he's the recruiter. You'd think he'd have a better handle on what's going on in his own department, especially if he's the guy to talk to about hiring. So, here I am again, stressing out about finding a job. Technically, my last day at ABC will be next Friday. I was hoping to be out before then. At least have something lined up. Unfortunately, that's not how the dice roll when I throw them~

Today, at work, I've received news from another former ABC colleague that a receptionist job at a local radio station has opened up. She, herself, went to the interview but couldn't take it because they didn't offer any part-time positions. The person she interviewed with said that if she knew anyone who needed a job, she should send them in that direction. Lucky for me, she stepped into the Bookstore and I told her my story. So, another job opportunity? I would like to think so. I am a bit weary, however. Last time I trusted a co-worker about a job, I was denied it due to a technical misunderstanding or miscommunication. Well, I don't really have much of a choice. I have to take what I can and just hope for the best~

The last few nights have been spent at Jon's apartment. I've been on his computer looking up jobs online. Bank jobs, entry-level management/trainer jobs, etc. Seriously, something has to happen. I've been doing this for almost 4 years and you mean to tell me I'm not qualified for anything? I really have terrible luck~

The re-emergence of a former relationship has surfaced after an eternity of silence. In an attempt to rekindle what was lost, it is taken into account that efforts must be quadrupled in order to assure success. Hopefully, there will be at least one aspect of my life that has a happy ending~

There have been a few conversations I've been involved in where I expressed a small outburst of poetic fluency from the top of the dome. I'm quite proud of myself~

"I lay here wrapped in my cloud sanctuary lost in the sea of contemplation only to be engulfed by the dark abyss of nothingness [*just laying in bed spacing out]~" --Me

Currently: upset at my job situation, my joke of a paycheck, and the fact that after 3 months, I haven't had my discount from my phonebill taken off yet~

Esse Quam Videri

After what feels like forever, I finally got to drawing something that wasn't for school. I guess you could say it was for myself but it was actually a commission that I wanted to do. The idea was to get as many BMF-Autobots in one image and throw the design on a longboard. Due to time constraints as well as miscommunications, it was reduced to just 8 Autobots on a poster. Originally, I had a list of 16-20. However, 8 hours per character (drawing, inking, re-inking due to mess-ups, coloring, etc.) not to mention trying to juggle shit-work, looking for new work, and dealing with crazy's, it's quite the stress-coaster~

Needless to say, this hasn't been the best month. Since summer (maybe even before that), the months progress to becoming worse than the previous one. What options do I have? I could always head back to Colorado Springs. God-forbid. I could tough it out up in Denver but I've been doing that for quite some time as it is. I could move out to a different state and start anew. BUT I need money. So many things. But I guess I can just stay in Denver for a while longer. Besides, my friends are here. Who will they go to when they need rides to the local walmart or when they need a liquor run? Who will I talk to about being gay with each other without actually being gay with each other (Best Hit Generation, where you at~?!)? Where will my successor go to when he needs someone to back him up that Donnie Yen would fuck Tony Jaa to pieces. Or where will he go to to talk about his Siberian tart? You got it....this guy *thumbs to the chest*

Along the topic of jobs, It's still a struggle. I've applied anywhere and everywhere. Even so much as the mall. Just to get me through so I can find something else. And what about the other manager positions I've tried to apply for? They say they're desperate yet they need people to be persistent. Kind of a riddle to me on that one but I still complied with the persistance and still no reply. I don't know...I don't understand why I'm so unhire-able. It's very upsetting. Good thing I haven't decided to read The Fuck-Up. That just might discourage me even more. *hmm* I should make a business card and try to get commissions done for people. Have "clients" spread the word of my talents. Shit, this first commission got me $***.** so get some networking done and maybe I could actually get paid for my talents~

I've been trying to read more often to pass the time. I'm actually building up my Murakami Collection. As it goes so far: Dance Dance Dance; South of the Border, West of the Sun; Sputnik Sweetheart (just finished recently); A Wild Sheep Chase. I've read more but I need to buy them as well. Maybe later. OR I could move towards Urban Erotic Stories. Such books as Thong on Fire, Thug-a-Licious, From the Streets to the Sheets, etc. by Noire (can be found right next to Haruki Murakami. You should give it a read. Pure comedy at its finest. Literally made me lol)~

Family wants me to head to COSprings this weekend. It's the tenant's graduation (finally) on Friday as well as Boboy's baptismal on Sunday. I think I can make it. I don't see why not. It's just a drag to go down to the Springs. There's nothing there for me to do, really. But hey, it's an excuse to see family and score some free grub~

This is mostly just an excuse to blog. I havne't done it in ages and I felt the need that it was about time I leave a new set of footprints in this dismal world~

Currently Reading: A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami~
Currently Wanting: food other than corned beef and rice~