As of late, I find myself staying in more often. I don't have much desire (or money) to go out on weekends. My life has become pretty mundane and, despite not making as much money as I did two years ago, I'm actually quite content with that. At the same time, it does get a little lonely. Because of this, it was a breath of fresh air when my best friend from college [let's call her "J-Prime"] had decided to hit me up to hang out~
A little background: I met this person in 2005 shortly after a major break-up. I had just came back from a [recovery] vacation of sorts and she was someone that I needed to train. I don't remember the details but when we first met, she had challenged me to a fight (she later explained that she didn't want some buster to be the boss of her). And, according to her, I had gladly/eagerly accepted. To which she said "Nevermind, let's be best friends instead." There was a time when she and I had lost contact (primarily due to our respective SO's) but after all that, we had reconnected when she moved back to Colorado from Los Angeles. Although we don't hang out as much as we used to, spending time with her is always appreciated and it's something I look forward to~
Back to the story: she had texted me early Friday afternoon and asked if I had any plans for the evening. Because of my lack of interest in going to clubs/bars, I was free and we had decided to go to a nearby driving range. "Nothing like contacting things with force and velocity." As we swung at golf balls from a rooftop with novice form, we got to talking about the ideas of "hanging out just for the sake of appreciating the company of others". I guess that sounds like a normal thing but this is also without the aid of some kind of external influence (drugs and/or alcohol). And the more I thought about it, within my immediate circle of friends, I have [maybe] 5 close friends that I can hang out with in that capacity~
Some time ago, there was this person that I hung out with on a regular basis (almost daily, in fact). One of the things that I loved most about spending time with her was that, despite her appearances, she was really wholesome and would rather sit in than go out. That all changed last year when she and her SO had parted ways. From there, it seems like it's a constant downward spiral of trying to rediscover herself. These days, I can't recall a conversation that doesn't come around to "I got soooo drunk/high" or "I'm super hung over right now" and, to be quite honest, it got old VERY fast. I mean, I get it: I'm a firm believer that everyone has that time to themselves to "schloot it up" and figure things out. It starts to become a problem, however, when a person says "I need to get my shit together" but doesn't do anything to make those steps~
So as J-Prime and I were talking over driving-range (and later, over dinner), we made the realization that there's something great about being in your 30s. For me, personally, I'm nowhere near where I want to be or where I thought I SHOULD be. However, I know what it is that I want out of life and where I want to go. That "balls to the wall" lifestyle is something that I can't handle (even when I was that age in my early-mid 20s). It was a phase that I did go through and it was something that I grew out of. Been there, done that. I won't discredit those experiences as it helped what shaped me to who I am today~
The concept of "Peter Pan Syndrome" came into conversation with J-Prime. She describes this as someone spending time with people way younger than their age demographic as a means to stay in that "glory days" mentality. So this is constant hedonistic amorality and the like~
The reason why I bring up "PPS" is because we'd (J-Prime and I) like to think that as you get older, you become wiser and more refined. For example, in your 30s, you should probably consider eating at places that have a refined taste rather than Hooters because "their wings have gotten better." The other thing about growing older is that one of the things that becomes more precious is TIME. As you mature, you have less time so you appreciate what time you do have and choose to spend it appropriately~
As mentioned previously, there's only so much "I got soooo drunk/high", "I'm super hung over right now", or "I need to get my life together" I can take. Quite frankly, it's exhausting. I don't have the time or energy to waste on something so trivial (and to be honest, kind of upsetting). As much as I appreciate the friendship, I don't feel that it's worth holding onto [at this point in time]. Perhaps I was infatuated with the image of what/how things used to be. It's in the past now and there's no CTRL+Z in life~
I'll be turning 36 this year. I realize that I don't have to make new friends at this age. What I do need to do is maintain the friendships I DO have that aren't toxic. If I do meet new people, I would prefer them to be like-minded. Mainly, I would like to associate myself with people that know what they want out of life. I would like to associate myself with people that motivate me [mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually]. By social standards, I'm not young anymore. I don't need people in their mid-late 20s/early 30s with and adolescent mindset holding me back. The world is big and I don't have the time/energy to spare to let it all slip away~
